Week 15... Everything Is Yucky!

While this road has been blessed with a beautiful new life, I am starting to get car sick, by all the bumps, twists, and turns. I have desperately been trying to get my appetite active and under control. I got food poisoning again from my workplace, which did not help... At all. The amount of passion I have for the hospitality industry is unmeasurable. The industry I have spent most of my ten working years in, I just couldn't do it anymore. Show up everyday and spit in the face of all my education and world renound training. With the overbearing weight and stress of depending on my mother for rides to and from. Along, with the moral and ethical objection to serving ill prepared and stored foods, I decided to quit. I was not making the money I need to make to provide for myself and my baby anyways. While in the process of choosing another position, I am being more cautious and picky this time. I have worked hard and have experience from top locations in this country, respecting myself and my skills, I am looking for something a little more than the common greasy spoon.

Back to my practically non existent appetite. As soon as I get hungry, I am put off by something, anything, everything. This disgust towards food or loss of appetite is known as "food aversion". Typically they are focused to a food someone previously enjoyed. Meat, spices, or certain cultural foods are normal targets, but for me, my appetite seems to be constantly changing and shooting blind, like a drunk cowboy. Everything seems repulsive. Food, the area around me, smells, texture... It never ends. I have even lost weight from the first time I was weighted at a few weeks and my last doctors appointment at 13 weeks. Concerned by my lack of appetite, I called my doctor and asked if this is normal. I was assured it is and a little bit of weight loss during my first trimester is common. Especially, for someone as "sense sensitive" as I was prior to pregnancy.During pregnancy everything is heightened. I'm like a drug dog with my new sense of smell. At least now, in my 2nd trimester my appetite should start to speed up, while the baby requires more nutrients as he grows. Being a first time mom is hard and pregnancy is not always fun. Going through all of these changes I have never experienced before, and tying to do the best things for this little being, can be stressful. My emotions and senses are completely wacked. This baby solely depends on me for everything to survive and grow. That is alot to take in. The nurse told me to just make sure I take my prenatal vitamins, that are stacked with DHA, and folic acid. They carry pretty much everything me and the baby need. Well enough to where a few weeks of aversions won't hurt anyone.

Having this break from the hourly grind has given me more time to focus on my personal business, the goals I want to achieve, and the dreams I have for my son and I. Just like I'm sure everyone does, I have been thinking of all the things I wanted and desired as a child. Things I was not able to do, whether due to means, lack of parental interest, or time. I, of course, like many, want my son to have a better childhood than I had. I don't ever want to be the weight that holds him back from his desires or dreams. If one day he comes to me and says, "when I grow up I want to be a famous soccer player," I will grab a ball and tell him to show me what he's got! I'm keeping my fingers crossed in hopes that he doesn't, but if one day he comes to me and says, "I want to travel the world in a rockband." Well looks like I'm getting some ear plugs, a rockstar sized snack tray, and not parking my car in the garage. I live my life very simply, with three simple rules, I plan on passing on to my son. When faced with a choice I want him to think "as long as it doesn't hurt me, another being, or the world it's ok." I have made many choices in life, with those simple guides in mind. Those rules have kept me safe, honest, and kind. Everything I hope for him to be.